


Ongoing War

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: the Games We Play [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Ongoing War

Your lap seemed to taunt you from where it sat on the other side of the bed. Almost every fiber of your being said this was right, said that this was just keeping him safe. Your heart, on the other hand, was at war with every other part of you. It stood on it’s own, screaming at you to tell him the truth. To fess up. To tell him everything you’d ever wanted to.

Wiping your cheek, you reached over and pulled your laptop over to you. It sat on your lap, your hands resting on the top. Your eyes shot to the clock for a moment, chewing on your lip. By now, he probably would have logged off for the night.

* * *

Dean stayed on until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He had hoped that you’d get back on, and the two of you could talk this out. Worry over took him, wondering if you were safe, or if he’d ever hear from you again.

Finally, he logged off, letting out a deep sigh. At that moment, he was thankful that Sam had a different room. The last thing that he wanted was Sam cracking jokes, making stupid ass comments, or trying to be positive. All Dean wanted was to be alone.

* * *

Slowly, you opened your laptop, and took a deep breath. You watched as the game loaded, ready to snap the laptop shut if you saw his name. You couldn’t face him so soon. It had only been a few hours since he’d told you that he loved you.

Thankfully, no one else was even on right then. You ran your character to a mailbox, and wrote to him.

_**Theinastus**-_

_I’m sorry about how I left things, but what I said was true. It’s safer for you to move on. You’re an amazing guy, and I’m sure you can find someone near you. Someone safe, someone perfect for you._

_I won’t be on this character anymore. I can’t._

_I love you, T. Have a happy, safe, loving life._

_ **Kanestinia** _

Your finger hovered over the left side button. Finally, you forced yourself to hit send. Your heart broke all over again.

* * *

As soon as he was awake, Dean rushed to the computer, hoping to see something from you. Hoping that you’d be on, waiting for him.

What he saw, however, broke him. His eyes read the words over and over, until he could have recited them back without looking. They were burned into his mind. While you wrote that you wouldn’t be on Kanestinia anymore, he wouldn’t lose hope. Every day he would look for you. Every day he would hope for some note, something to let him know that you had reached out for him.

* * *

The next morning, you packed your things, taking extra time to fold each piece of clothing. You were moving on to another hunt, another walk into the bullseye, and yet another chance at not walking back out. That was your life. That was why you couldn’t fall any more in love with him.

As you walked out of your motel room, you looked back over the room. It would come to you in your dreams- the last place you ever spoke to him. Closing the door gently, you left him behind, another happily ever after you couldn’t have.


End file.
